Wild Ride to Sobriety

[Upbeat Guitar Music]

Mike: Welcome everybody. This is Avoiding the Addiction Affliction, brought to you by Westwords Consulting. I'm Mike McGowan.

Mike: Recovery doesn't show up on a schedule and the route it takes is unpredictable. My guest today, Ian Fee, started sipping beer at the age of, are you ready? One. He bartended at 13, then built a business from the ground up in 2003 and endured two failed marriages, and ultimately sold his company in 2016.

Mike: While as he says, he was fat and drunk in Vegas, Ian then reached a breaking point. We're gonna talk about that today, and began his journey to reclaim his life. He's a successful author with a new book. Wild Ride to Sobriety. It's great. He's an entrepreneur, creator of Make It Great, proudly sober since 2017. He has dedicated himself to personal growth, family, and living a life of purpose and clarity. He's gonna talk about that journey from addiction to empowerment with us today. Welcome Ian thanks so much for joining us.

Ian: Oh man. I appreciate you so much for having me and for all that you do through your service.

Mike: Oh, that's nice of you to say. I wanna start with your story. I always start with the story and your terrific book, Wild Ride to Sobriety. I really enjoyed it. I really love the cover art too. How'd you come up with that or who came up with that?

Ian: That is actually a real picture. I was about eight, nine years old in Bellingham, Washington.

Mike: This is you?

Ian: Yeah.

Mike: (laughs) I didn't even realize that. That's even better.

Ian: Yep. Yep. That is me in my living room in Bellingham. That is a real Marlboro. That is a real banquet of beer. Oh geez. (laughs) Six shooters. They had to filter down the picture a little bit. And the best part that's not in there is that I pissed my pants.

Mike: Oh, there you go. There you go. I'm glad we left that off the cover.

Ian: I'll send you the actual picture and you'll get a amazing chuckle and be like, oh my God, you should have had the whole cover in there.

Mike: Oh my gosh, that is just, well, alright. Like a lot of us, and we've talked about this a lot on here, you grew up around alcohol, but you have a quote early in your book.

Mike: That I think is interesting. You and I were talking off the air a little bit about having opposite reactions to alcohol. You say, I grew up yearning to join the inebriated inner circle of cool adults.

Ian: Yep.

Mike: Oh, that's real. There's a lot there.

Ian: There is a lot there. You know, when you grow up with alcohol you know, my parents were, I don't know, you could call 'em social alcoholics.

Ian: Did they drink too much? Maybe sometimes, but it was just a consistent thing. Like everything evolved around alcohol. We were gonna go to barbecues and like bring your own beer in a, you know, a bottle of Black Velvet who's bringing the 7Up and you know, hey, maybe it's wine night. I just grew up with that.

Ian: When we had parties like in my book at the age of 13, I started bartending my own parents' parties so I could make some money. 'cause I realized. You know, the more I gave these people the drink, they're like, oh, what a cute little kid. He dressed up and, you know, he had a little tie on and be like, I remember people's drinks today when I was 13, what my parents' best friends would drink, Black Velvet Seven, you know vodka with a splash of Sprite with two lime. Like I remember it all. So before their drinks would get empty, I would go pour another one and I'd be like, oh my God, your son's so cute and amazing. Here's a couple dollars, here's a couple dollars. I was like, this is fabulous. But I grew up around it.

Mike: And you were always drinking then.

Mike: Then what? You started drinking yourself at what age?

Ian: I really didn't start drinking. It wasn't like at 13, I'm sipping theirs and be like, poor a little for them, poor a little for me. That wasn't me. I really didn't dabble a whole lot in alcohol in high school, but as soon as I got into college and I moved to San Diego, man, it was big mouth Mickey's and I actually even I, this story's outta my book.

Ian: I probably should have put it, I had this old Toyota pickup truck, S 2002 wheel drive, long box, cranker windows. Thank God it had AC but you know, when you pull the windshield wiper fluid, it sprays the windows. Well, my buddy and I punched a hole. Clean that thing out, clean it out with vinegar, hoard it with vodka, punched a hole through the dashboard.

Ian: We would go to 7-Eleven. Get those big mouth Mickey's. A Sprite or you know, whatever. And we would go drive and pull the windshield fluid wiper and fill our big mouth with vodka and thought it was great. Cruising around San Diego and Mission Beach. Like, that wasn't a red flag. I don't know what would be.

Mike: I've heard a lot. I've never heard of people filling and then drinking out of a straw from their windshield wiper fluid. But you know, when you grow up around it, it's not surprising. Then when you're post high school when you had some adversity that you then turn to drinking to cope.

Mike: That's what you saw. So why wouldn't that be a coping mechanism?

Ian: For sure. And I'm 52 today and I'm going through therapy on this NAD therapy. And I'm like, everything relates to in your life, back to your childhood.

Mike: Yep.

Ian: And you gotta go figure out what that trigger is, what that emotion is, what that is.

Ian: And I didn't realize how much childhood trauma and I didn't think I was that traumatized as a kid. But everything goes back to your childhood from my. Obviously the cover of the book, like that's a problem. Age of one drinking beer, 13. Like, where did all these suppressed feelings come from?

Ian: And I'm learning them now at 52. (laughs)

Mike: Hey better late than never, right? It doesn't, you know.

Ian: For sure.

Mike: You know, my dad when he wanted to lose weight, he switched from beer to whiskey. You have a similar story in your book when you were in your forties.

Ian: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, the old saying of like hey, you're drinking two, you know, vodka sodas go down like water. And I could, I could drink vodka sodas every, every 11 minutes, which is a lot, sometimes eight minutes, depending on my location. And then it'd be like, Hey, you know what? I've really slowed down. I'm just drinking Coors Light

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Ian: And that was like my justification in my own little brain of like, oh, I really slowed down in parts. I don't do Fireball shots anymore. I just do, I just do Coors Light and it's crazy that things you can justify in your own mind to justify your actions.

Mike: Yeah. You, you look really fit now. What do you do to keep yourself fit?

Ian: I work out almost every day. A lot of walking, weights. I really kind of over the last, you know, seven and a half years of not drinking, kind of just stacked all these baby baby wins and, and my morning routines.

Mike: Yeah.

Ian: I get up in the morning, I do some breath work. I don't look at my phone for half hour.

Ian: I get outside. I take some deep breaths, do two, three minutes of breath work. I really kind of learned to get my body going in the morning. Before I even look at my phone. So I got a pretty good half hour routine before, you know, just get my mind right and my body right. And you know, walking is a big thing.

Ian: Fitness, health, wellness, and fitness is kind of like my new, my new addiction. So yeah, I've lost 80 pounds.

Mike: Wow.

Ian: [inaudible] and I feel like a million bucks and clarity and just a whole new purpose in life for sure. It's like nothing good came outta drinking for me.

Mike: That picture you have in your book next to the one in high school where you had let yourself go a little bit is stunning.

Mike: I wouldn't have even recognized you.

Ian: Yeah. Yeah. That's, that was probably my peak and I think that was actually in Vegas. When I sold my company, it got funded in the bank account. I was like, I dunno, 264 pounds and drunk and fat and just a Large Marge.

Mike: Well, let's talk about your business for a minute.

Mike: 'cause I've worked with a lot of people over the years who have their own business and are really successful and you go into it, you were successful, you said, in part because of your ability to show 'em a good time, quote unquote, right?

Ian: Yeah, yeah.

Mike: Whining and dining them.

Ian: My superpower and I believed it. And lived it. That booze was my superpower. I've always been a good networker. Obviously, probably started when I was 13 with my friend's parents and pretty social and I was always a people pleaser and knew how to read a room and understood what motivated people. And I kind of brought that energy and I did that in my business.

Ian: But I thought it was, Hey, let's go have martini lunches. I'll get 'em outside their business. And then martini lunches turned into steak dinners with bottles of wine. And then be like, why should the party end? Why don't we just come back to my house and go into the hot tub, maybe do some fireball shots, maybe open another bottle of wine and rinse and repeat four or five days a week.

Ian: So I was growing this network in my business and great relationships with my business partners, and I thought booze was my superpower. Like, well, hey, I can't be home tonight because I gotta go entertain clients. I gotta go take them to a baseball game and we're gonna have beers. Maybe we'll go to a strip club.

Ian: Hey, I might even come home with a 12 pack and we're gonna sit in the hot tub. So I might be home by midnight, but it might get a little loud.

Mike: Yeah.

Ian: And repeat. And that just wasn't one day a week. Those were multiple times a week. And that's how I kind of blew out, you know, two failed marriages, which I'm absolutely not proud of.

Ian: Booze was in my mind a superpower. I was an all American [inaudible].

Mike: Well then how do you, that's self perpetuating. If that's the way you're making your living, then how do you show somebody a good time again with quotes if you're not gonna drink?

Ian: Well, it's was just a mindset. I am probably better at it.

Ian: I can still be around. I can still be in a bar. I don't have that, you know, like, Hey, don't drink around me. I can still buy people drinks. I don't care, if you wanna drink, drink, I don't care. I'm not here to preach you not to drink. So I have no judgment there. And I can be in bars, I can be out, you know, we do a lot of conferences in Vegas.

Ian: I could be out till midnight, one o'clock. I can get people drinks and I have just as much fun, if not more fun.

Mike: Yeah.

Ian: One because I remember it and I'm not the big drunken idiot that, if a party's going hot, I can make it hotter. And the biggest thing is I don't have the regrets in the morning.

Ian: I'd be like, in the mornings you'd be looking at your phone and be like, oh no.

Mike: Yeah.

Ian: Did I say that? Or text that? Oh shit. Why'd I call that personat one? Oh my gosh, did I leave him a voicemail? I have no regrets. And it's so refreshing to be up in the morning clearheaded and having none of that anxiety, if you will.

Ian: It's just a different mindset of, you know. It's not just about sobriety, right? It's about overcoming adversity and really just changing your mindset of like, who do you wanna be? It's like in rehab. I was going into rehab for my wife, my kids, my business, my friends, my business partners, everybody else but me, everybody.

Ian: On that third day of rehab, the good Lord touched me on the shoulder and like, Hey, look in the mirror. Unless you're right, absolutely nothing will ever, ever be right in your lives. So you need to get your shit together and worry about you and get your mindset right, or you can try to be all this for everybody else and that really hit me.

Mike: And I want you to talk about that, because when you checked yourself into, what, where was it? Schick in Seattle. Was it Seattle?

Ian: Yeah. It's called Schick Shadel in Seattle.

Mike: Yeah. You went through something that I've talked to people since I read your book about it. We have a little network so you, I'm gonna let you go.

Mike: What did they do for, so I wanna say to you, but it's for you, right?

Ian: It was, it's called Schick Shadel, and it's called aversion therapy. And it's 10 days and I really didn't wanna go to a Betty Ford for 30 because I still running my company. I still have kids baseball and you know, thinking I was being a good husband. So I wanted to go short.

Ian: So I found this place happened to be in my backyard in Seattle called Schick Shadel. And it's 10 days of aversion therapy. And what aversion therapy is the people that have kids know what ipecac is. So you go into this place, you can leave if you opted to, but you stay 10 days in this facility.

Ian: And there's some counseling that goes along with it, but there, you know, the aversion pieces, you kind of go into like a doctor's office and where they have all their utensils and stuff. Well, it's a full bar and you sit down and in front of you is this ginormous mirror, a silver bucket, your chair, and then your nurse, which we call them bartenders, and they give you some ipecac.

Ian: Which induces nausea and vomiting. You know, if your kids swallow something...

Mike: poison.

Ian: Yep. They induce vomiting. And so they give you 16 ounces of that and then 16 ounce glass of warm salt water.

Mike: Oh. And you swallow the salt water?

Ian: Swallow the salt water. And for me it was about seven, nine minutes that you did not feel good.

Ian: You felt like your worst hangover in the world, your mouths watering, and then they pour you a shot. Mine started with vodka and they try to get 18 shots in you. So they, you take this shot, you swish it around in your mouth and spit it out in the silver bowl. And probably about the second shot, let's say the second one's whiskey, black velvet, swish it around in your mouth.

Ian: By this time you're throwing up. They try to get 18. So typically my, I could get one switched around and be like, oh yeah, no problem. Two would come, it's all over. And then they give you fireball, red wine, Coors Light, Scotch, Baileys and try to get 18. And you're at some of them, you're putting 'em on your lips and you can't even, it can't even touch your lips and you're throwing up profusely and that was the tough part.

Ian: So you do that for. It felt like a long time, but maybe a half hour, 25 minutes, they take you back to your room. No electronics, no phones, no tv, and they wheel in this, you sit at the end of your bed and then there's a pink bucket, and I remember specifically there was a clock right above me. For about an hour and a half.

Ian: You're just getting this outta your system. You are violently puking, not feeling good. Every 10 minutes a nurse would come in and check your oxygen and make sure you're still alive. And then at the hour and a half, mark, oh my God, I'm turning the corner. They come in 16 ounces of ipecac. 16 ounces of warm salt water again, and you go for another hour and a half of just violently throwing up.

Ian: And the, when they emptied out the shots they, they put it in a little towel so they would put that towel next to in your room and be like, Hey, you gotta smell when you throw up, smell the towel. And is just, and it was horrible. So after about three hours, you're absolutely gassed, and then you're kind of free to go whatever class was going on there.

Ian: There was always a group session going on and I would go, maybe go grab a cracker. Like I, we've all been there. You haven't, super hungover. He'd be like, I could, I just need a piece of bread or something. So I'd go naw on a little bit of a cracker. Feel like shit the rest of the day. Listening to people in their drinking stories and be like I'm, I'm never doing this again.

Ian: And then, so that's day one. Next day they sedate you. So you go into same room, they give you an IV and they get into your subconscious. So you're sedated enough to not know they're in your subconscious. And there's obviously you got your nurse you got the IV doctor, and then you're assigned a therapist and they ask you 26 different questions.

Ian: Random, like, who's a bad influence? Where'd you drink? Where do you think drinking started? And you're answering all these questions and then you're sedated maybe 8 to 12 minutes. When you come out it, you are on top of the world. It's such an energy dump. They put you in your room for half hour just to be like, Hey, settle down, and then you go spend three hours with your counselor and review these 26 questions that you're like, I answered what?

Ian: I didn't even think of that person. And it was absolutely insane. So you do that your second day and then your third day you look on your schedule and be like, Ooh. They call 'em Duffy days. You'd be like, Ooh, my Duffy's at one 30. Which I didn't like the 1:30 ones. 'cause you're just waiting, anticipating.

Ian: And before you go on your Duffy days, you have to drink a gallon of, I chose blue Powerade. To this day, my kids know there is no blue Powerade, no blue Gatorade. There ain't nothing. My mouth will water if I see blue Gatorade to this day. And there are no silver bowls in my house to be found.

Mike: (Laughs)

Ian: My aversion was so high coming out of there and their success rate was like 78%.

Ian: It was phenomenal. I've kind of sad that they're closed 'cause their success rate was incredible and I had a couple buddies in front of me go through it as well and their aversion is still extremely high nine 10 years later.

Mike: Was there some research behind 18 as opposed to 17 or 22? 18 man.

Ian: It might've been the founder's favorite number.

Ian: I don't know why 18. I have no idea. Because at four or five you're like, okay, I'm good. I am at stop because...

Mike: So how many days did you repeat that then?

Ian: So you do five puke days. So you do a Duffy day, your throw up day. You do your sedation day, Duffy day. Sedation day. So five days of it, but every other day, then you're off.

Mike: And the reason I wanted you to talk about this is, people have heard me say this before. Something works for somebody, or everything works for somebody.

Ian: Yeah.

Mike: You know, who knows? Like you said, if they had 78%, so when you got out after 10 days, you were like, that is it.

Ian: Yeah. I had zero, zero interest.

Ian: One, I don't even know if I could, without throwing up if somebody gave me a beer and be like, Nope, not happening.

Mike: Do you count your sober day as the day you got out? (laughs) Or because you were sipping the whole time. So.

Ian: Yeah, they have you swish it around in your mouth and then you, you just, you can't get it down.

Mike: Well, I think, you know, like you said, you went in there thinking, I'm gonna, I'm gonna save everything. And I think it's kind of poignant that the day you got out wasn't your best day either.

Ian: Yeah, I got served papers. But the damage was so far gone for me. There was really no saving it, even though in my mind I was like, Hey, I'm gonna give this a whirl.

Ian: I'm gonna give it my shot. And like, look at me. I'm a new man. You know, coming out of that 10 days, I actually lost 13 pounds. One because you're not keeping anything down. And that was a pivotal point for me of like, man, I could go back to drinking. Like, you know. I did all this for nothing.

Mike: Yeah.

Ian: You know, shame, a lot of guilt. And then I had my circle in my kids that were just troops for me, man, they, they pulled me out of, you know, a tailspin of like, Hey, remind yourself, you gotta get yourself right and then we'll be fine. So I had a really good circle that today is my ride or die, for sure.

Mike: Yeah. We're gonna talk about them in a minute. You know, it's funny, you mentioned kids earlier, they don't care, do they when they're younger? If you're at work, if you're hungover, if you're in a bar, if you're not there, it's just, where's dad?

Ian: Right? And there is, the word present has a whole new meaning for me today.

Ian: Because I was the RV dad. I had an RV and we'd go to the kids softball games, baseball games, and I was, you know, my RV was really a bar because I was the life of the party. I was making sure everybody had red solo cups in the stands, whether it be, if it was a morning game, we're having Bailey's and coffee.

Ian: If it's an afternoon game, we're doing Coors Light, and I made sure everybody in the stands are good while behind me. My kids are playing. So I was there, but I wasn't present.

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Ian: And there's a big, big difference between the two.

Mike: Yeah. Talk about Make It Great,

Ian: Make It Great actually started in the smoker's lounge, sitting outside of rehab.

Ian: I wasn't a smoker, but I was pretty social and pretty good with people and I always had kind of this vibe and energy for people of being a leader and a mentor and pretty positive in the situation that we're in. And make it great was just kind of a somebody says like, you make everybody feel great.

Ian: You make everybody feel great. And like, so our whole environment's great when you're around. And I was like, man, we should start a company and call it, Make It Great. And, you know, let's go make an impact in the world. And like, you know, had a couple people. And on this, this big table one of the gals actually created the logo with a Sharpie on the table.

Ian: It's still there. When I went and did a speaking gig. I dunno, however long, nine years ago or six years ago. And it kind of started that way and then it kind of morphed into like my kids were just coming outta college, my daughter like, Hey, why don't we just, you know, start a speaking gig to go make an impact on high school and colleges.

Ian: And then it kinda sat dormant for a while. Which I'm gonna start ramping it back up now with, with the book and just really how can you go make somebody feel great? What can you do to have a great day? You know, I think I had it before, you know make America, right? Mm-hmm. It's the same, same, same thing.

Ian: Look at it however you want. How can you be better every day? How can you make somebody feel good today? How can you make somebody feel great today? So yeah, that's kinda, it all started sitting around the smokers lounge.

Mike: Well, and it's a family affair.

Ian: Yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, it started with my, my kiddos.

Ian: My kids are on the website and. So proud of them and they, they have no idea how much impact they've made on me on this sober journey. And I actually had 'em write in the book. Yeah. Some of their experiences.

Mike: Yeah. Do you mind talking about that? That's interesting to me. 'Cause that's a risk you took, right?

Mike: You, 'cause you know, well, the risk you took is what are they gonna say? Right? Because as you said, you weren't there.

Ian: So, yeah, I'm pretty naked in this book, and I wanted it to be so real and so authentic, and if people judge it, I really didn't give a shit.

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Ian: Because if it resonated with somebody to be a better mom, a better dad, better business owner, a better friend, that's what the whole reason of this book was for.

Ian: So, yeah, I had my kids, they grew up with, the party animal dad, what kind of dad, what, what kind of dad am I gonna get when he walks in the. Drunk happy Dad. Is he gonna be drunk, sad, angry Dad. How many people are coming in behind him? Are we having a party again on a Tuesday? So I had my three kids write letters.

Ian: My oldest son who still drinks today, not nearly as much as when I was drinking because I would push them to do shots and fireball and like, Hey, have your friends over. Come on. And he has a story in there of like, what's your biggest memory of your dad drinking? Like, oh man. Sundays we could, you, you could have breakfast, lunch, dinner in the hot tub.

Ian: We're doing Bloody Mary's, we having beers and people are over and we're playing cornhole. And and then my daughter who's a couple years younger would be like, well, I didn't know what kind of dad I was gonna get, and I would have to text you to turn down the music so I could do my homework. While I'm having this full blown party downstairs, you know, dancing and music loud, and the speakers are in the ceiling and so her room's just thumping while she's trying to study going to Seattle U and then my youngest, who was seven, really just doesn't remember a whole lot of drinking.

Ian: But you know, where's dad? At 7, 8, 9, they're like, where's dad? Oh. And mom would cover and be like, oh, he is got a work function.

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Ian: Or he's here or there where she probably really didn't even know where I was at, but probably knew I was drinking somewhere. So a lot of this emotional talk about, but those stories are in there 'cause that is real life.

Mike: Have you thought about having him write a letter now?

Ian: No, but that's a great idea. Nobody's ever asked me that. That's a great idea of like. Then and now, I guess.

Mike: Yeah. Yeah, because it, there's a, you know, the personality's probably still there, right?

Ian: Oh yeah.

Mike: So do you, do you go to how do you, you talked about going to a therapist.

Ian: Yeah.

Mike: Do you attend meetings? Are you a 12 step person? Do you do reading? What, how do you do it?

Ian: I've never attended one. My oldest brother is frequentsome. You know, on a weekly basis. I have one of my very closest friends, who used to attend meetings, and he was like, Hey, after he got sober and he, he went to my rehab, that Schick Shadel aversion therapy to go back into AA.

Ian: It was really negative for him. It really hit him really hard in a negative way. Like, man, these stories and the negativity in the vibe, it just hurt him. But I've never been to one. So I have a life coach Angie, that's out of Florida. Who I speak with every Wednesday, super early in the morning. And it's just good for life, relationships, business, keeps me accountable on my goals, my drive, my ambitions.

Ian: And I go see an NED therapist, which focuses a lot really on your domestication of your childhood. Of like how, you know, I'm really into like, how can you be better every day?

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Ian: And how can I learn these triggers or emotions or things that be like, why did I get all weirded out on that. And my guy takes me all the way back to like, let's figure out was it at age 10, 12, 21, 22?

Ian: Where was this trigger for you? And once you can kind of identify 'em, it's like, oh my God, that makes complete sense. Why am I letting that bother me? And sometimes it's just that, you know, I have a story in there about my girlfriend of running water. I grew up very poor. Running water, be like, Hey if it's yellow, let it mellow.

Ian: If the water's running, you're like, turn the fucking water off. What are we doing?

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Ian: And it was, I didn't know why this was such a big trigger for me and my gal. Angie's like, well, let's walk back and figure out like, how'd you grow up? Like poor. What was it like? Did you have to turn the water off?

Ian: Yeah. Like you, you fill the sink up with and wash dishes until it got cold. And then, you know, you put 'em in the dishwasher and be like, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to go home and ask Shelby how was she brought up doing dishes? And it sounds so minor and petty. And I'd be like, Hey babe. What was it like when, when you grew up be like, oh my God, we had to run hot water and the dishes had to be spotless before they even went into the, to the washing machine.

Ian: And right there, the light bulb went off. Like, why am I letting water bother me? She grew up this way. I grew up that way. It makes complete sense. Like, let the water go. It's okay. But that bothered me for years. And I just get quiet. I get pouty. I mean, I get all these goofy emotions, overrunning warm water, which is insane.

Ian: And to this day, let her run, let her run.

Mike: You know, that's fascinating 'cause I think we all have those. And sometimes Ian, you can figure 'em out and sometimes I had a, a friend of mine say, I said, why does coughing bother me? And he goes, well, because of your previous life experience in the middle ages with tuberculosis.

Mike: And I went like this. And he goes, that's a lot, right? And I said, why do he goes. Who knows. You said you may figure it out, but you may never figure it out. Right. But in the meantime, you can still have a good life. Right?

Ian: Right.

Mike: So I'll let you go with this. What are the upsides to living the life the way you are now and not drinking?

Ian: Everything is better. My relationships are better, my health is better. My priorities are better. My relationships with my closest circle is like no other. I used to have this ginormous circle and I could get a party together in 10 minutes at my house. And really, I just care about my...

Mike: Yeah.

Ian: My family and my closest circle.

Ian: I could give, you know, it pretty hard to come into my closest circle these days because they're so intimate. There's nothing off boundaries. We can laugh together. We can cry together. Anything and everything can be talked about. And before I was numbing it and I didn't realize I was just numbing all these emotions and feelings.

Ian: And then when you have to sit in your own dirty diaper for a little while and deal with your emotions and feel it, it's a game changer. Especially if you have the mindset of like, Hey, I want to be better. I want to improve daily. I wanna be a, a better parent. I, I wanna be a better leader. I wanna be a better boyfriend, fiance, husband, whatever.

Ian: If you go into that mindset, it's a game changer for me. And health and fitness is like my dopamine hit. Like I'm addicted to working out. I'm, you know, walked this morning, we're gonna go to the gym after this. Like that is my dopamine fix and my energy level. I had pretty high energy level when I was drinking, even though it was my superpower.

Ian: I have that if not more, and if I wasn't drinking back in the days when I sold my company, my company probably would've been 10 x.

Ian: It was like I relate it to, and a good body always supposed to be like, I'm driving down the HOV fast lane with the emergency brake on and to today I have no emergency brake on and I am just going.

Mike: Awesome. Ian, I told you earlier how much I enjoyed your book. It was really a quick read. It was fascinating. It was fun, and it was also very moving at the same time. We're gonna put links to all of Ian's stuff on the tag of this podcast. Thanks for your story. It's inspiring, it's honest, and also for your work, for those of you listening and watching.

Mike: We hope you find love, courage, support wherever you are. Thanks for listening. Be safe and if you're struggling, keep looking. It's there. It's right there. You just gotta find it.